Outside our small safe place flies Mystery... A snake beneath the forest floor, a whisper: Melusine

My mind is awash with worries, little and big ones, here to there...

I miss DI!
I heard from my good old best friend, Di, a week or so ago and it provoked this love-fest-o-rama in email between her and my pal, Jason.  The three of us haven't all talked like that in nearly ten years.  So much has happened since the last time we all gathered at that yellow house on Division Street.  Times have changed.  We're all kinda grown up now.  I miss the times when Di and I would stay up all night long doing Tarot and watching bad movies.  Sing it with me: "Memories!"  But the stream of conversation via email dried up a week ago.  Like just stopped.  Like our lives only paused for a moment to make room for a few laughs and then *poof!*

WTF is up with Labor Day Weekend?
Many months ago, I made plans with my pals Jenn and Damien to spend Labor Day weekend with them as part of welcoming their new baby and celebrating their one year wedding anniversary.  However, due to a lot of reasons, I'm afraid I may not be able to take a trip to Milwaukee this Labor Day weekend.  First off, I've had way too many invites to parties and get-togethers to the point where, when and if I choose one to attend, I won't be able to please all of my friends.  Second, the gas prices are shitty.  Third, I'm more nervous than ever before about taking the Greyhound bus to Milwaukee.  After the news report about the young man who was decapitated after he fell asleep on a bus, I've thought about all the times I've rode the bus with many a creepy character.  There is no security system for riding the bus.  No baggage checks.  No metal detectors.  Nothing.  Some idiot could be sitting next to you with a gun for Pete's sake!  I've been attacked twice on buses.  For some reason it attracts dirtiest of dirt bag people.  I think it's safer right now to board a plane than a bus.  Crazy.  Fourth reason to make any kind of travel difficult for me, my brother was perfectly willing to drive me down to Milwaukee, but now he has a torn muscle in his knee that may require surgery ASAP.  That means he can't drive.  Damn.  And I was going to pay for gas, too.  And speaking of money...  I'm a bit short this month which means next month is going to be tighter than I expected.  Ugh!

Ideally, I'd love to take a big ass road trip so I can visit all my friends, but unfortunately everyone's all off work only during Labor Day weekend.  Go figure!  Even my gal pal, Di, invited me out to Chicago for the weekend.  I just wish I could indulge every invitation I get.  *sigh*

Everyone's in the Back of my Mind, so it's a bit crowded in Here
I'm concerned about Jenn.  I have this feeling that her delivery is going to be difficult, more so than how things went with Dexter.  I'm hoping she will contact me or write a blog somehow to let me know how she's dealing.  I'm still concerned about msdania  and wishing I could send her the biggest care package I can put together.  I'll have to check her blog after posting here to see how she's holding up.  Meanwhile I'm looking up information on how I can send a donation to the families who survived the propane explosion.  When I get that info, I'll repost it here. 

I've also started to wonder about the situation with all my friends, past and present.  I can be a sore ass worry wort, so I'm trying not to be one, but I can't help it.  All weekend I've had nightmares about the people I love.  I dreamed that Jason's stitches didn't come all the way out and I saw him picking them out, one by one, fighting with a few that had "come to life" like out of some kind of horror movie.  All the while he was telling me it didn't hurt anymore, but that his situation is, in a word, pesky.  I also dreamt of Miya in the white mourning robes of a widow.  Her breasts were bleeding.  She said it was Drew's fault for not giving her energy back.  "It was a loan I should've never given him," she said.  The other nightmare involved my mother and brother.  I saw my brother in a wheel chair and he was bitching at me while we were grocery shopping.  My mother was more mobile, shifting around in a very fast scooter, and I lost her in a winter storm.  While I was trying to find her, I was attacked by a very large black panther.  The panther held me down and had sex with me.  After he was done, a group of men laid me out on a table and proceeded to "lick me all over" -- all in all it was pleasant, but afterwards I was ashamed to discover that the experience had been videotaped and broadcast on the news!  I spent the rest of the dream trying to find my mother so I could apologize and explain to her that it happened against my will.  Talk about crazy stuff going on in my mind!

I'm glad I got all that off my mind now.