Another shooting on a college campus...  So many people are comparing it to Columbine, but the first thing it reminded me of was the shootings that happened at Kent State back on May 4th 1970.  The Virginia Tech shootings also remind me of the morbid jokes my roommates used to tell about how they'd love to break out some guns and start shooting, not other students, but faculty and staff for high tuition costs.  No one took such threats seriously, they were just a way to express frustration at the university system.  I am not saying that the individual responsible for the shootings at Virginia Tech had such a grievance, but I'm surprised that more shootings like this don't happen.  It's not due to violent video games or movies, or even relationships gone sour, it is simply senseless... and perhaps that's why so many people are searching for a meaning and cause.  It's easy to blame something as superficial as the media. 

Today I saw so many idiot experts on TV comparing it to so many other shootings and blaming it on fake violence, that I just got sick to my stomach.  Stop with the blame game and just focus on getting the victims some help.  Better yet, in stead of universities treating their students like money making machines, faculty and staff should nurture their students as people who are seeking ways to better their lives.  When I am a student, I am their boss.  I'm there spending my money on getting an education.  I'm not there to fund their pet projects or kiss their asses. 

The other thing that concerns me is that every time I've turned on the radio or TV today, all I hear loudly is "the shooter is an ASIAN man" with the emphasis of the voice of reporters on "asian" which makes me think some are already considering the race issue.  But from what I've seen broadcast online and on TV, it seems like this guy's real issue was breaking up with a girl.  He was well armed -- and prepared for war.  He used a 9mm pistol and a 22 caliber, chained the doors to keep people from escaping, and it was all premeditated.  Whoever he was, my strongest feelings about him were that he wanted to die and take out and hurt as many people as possible out of hate, anger, isolation, perhaps even out of revenge.  He exploded.  For weeks previous, there were bomb threats on this campus... they had no idea they needed to be looking for a human bomb.

Which begs me to ask, "how can you stop a person from exploding like this?"  No one seems to have an answer for that.

And yet there are so many assumptions... so many people already using this tragedy to fuel their hatred for so many things...  Already there's an exploitation of this going on in the news.  Every idiot in the box wants to get you as angry as this shooter was and they want that anger directed towards idiot causes that only serve to distract you from living your life to its fullest.  Don't buy into the blame game. 

Perhaps there was no way for this to be prevented.  Perhaps some people's anger explodes like this as an act of nature does.  Once the flood gates open, we are all helpless in the wake of its power.  The best thing to do is to move on, survive, contribute something meaningful to society, and instead of drowning in despair, find a way to revive your love and passion for something -- something that can empower you to rise above the shit in this world.  Individuals who hold a gun to your head want you to give up and die.

That's what I've been struggling against these past three years -- trying to survive against the ill will of the motherfuckers who want me to roll over and die -- it's incredibly hard to live with that gun in your face, hard to face the world with even just the memory of that gun, knowing that gun could unload in your face -- so many times now I've wanted to move back to Milwaukee, but I'm still not yet ready to face that challenge.

The thing that chills me the most is it was a 9mm handgun that was held against the head of my father on August 2004...  That was the last gun I have seen up close and personal.  The gun was never fired, but the terror hit me as hard as a bullet.  The guy who robbed my father and I is now in jail, thank the Gods, but recovering from the terror continues.  My heart goes out to the students of Virigina Tech.  I feel like I do with every tragedy that unfolds on the television screen, helpless and wishing I could something to help...

And still struggling under the gun.