Outside our small safe place flies Mystery... A snake beneath the forest floor, a whisper: Melusine

Hello, Mindsay friends!  You haven't lost me and I'm not really gone.  Can you believe someone actually thought I left Mindsay because they thought I was rejected by friends here?  Ridiculous!  Only reason why I went away was to expand my horizons, gain a new audience, and to seek publication.  It's been paying off.  I've been making contacts in the right places and that feels great. 

I am feeling more... pink!  I associate pink with happiness sometimes.  And healing.  Not so pink, now that I think more on it, but more of a rose red with deep purple on the edges that is so soothing, so relaxing, I feel like I'm bathing in a cup of warm milk.  How did I get to feeling like that?  I decided to stop feeling sad over my absent friend and just let good memories take over.  I have been trying out a new type of therapy that allows me to slowly ease me out of one emotion and distract myself into another.  Once my body is relaxed, I can then deal more reasonably with the situation that triggered the more stressful emotion.  After that I can soothe myself.  It's up to me to keep myself happy.

Just hit a blue note this midnight.  Going to sink into my bed and pretend there is no such thing as sorrow.  I will carry on tomorrow as if I am not missing my friend.  I will be content that he is alive and leave it at that.  I've lived without him for years now, I can wait a couple more.  Yet I feel more dead as time passes.  Like waiting at a train station for someone that never comes.  I just sit there.  Waiting.  My body tells me I must do something.  I can't sit idle.  I can't stay alone anymore like this.  No one wants me to be unhappy.  I should be happy.  There is nothing wrong.  Right?

Read Me and you'll know how I came to believe what I believe, peek into my past, and maybe learn some things about me you didn't know before.

I love it when friends send me treasures in the mail!  Especially when I'm least expecting it.  The pal I was supposed to go on a Milwaukee trip with sent me a package and rocked my world today.  I'm glad he's making an effort to make up for the cancellation.  We had such an excellent road trip planned!  Wahhhh!  But this is okay. Books is treasure to me.  You can bury me in books! Now I want to pass on that wonderful surprise and send other people secret treasures...